At the front entrance of this exotic hotel, jason knew he wasn’t going to be allowed in any room on the six floor. He recently found out that on the 31 of october there had been 666 death’s in room six six six. He knew that on this very evening there was going to be some paranormal activity. No one has ever been aloud to stay in room six six six after this frightening event. Jason kindly asked the hotel manager to allow him to stay in this room, however straight away he denied his answer. Jason simply knew that if some one wasn’t occupying the room at that time he was aloud to stay in it. After his five minute of arguing and negotiation with the manager, he kindly regarded the key for room six six six. The hotel manager was willing to do anything to make Jason change his decision, he offered him a glass of his finest Champaign as well as a free of charge hotel sweet for him to stay in a suit. And a box of chocolates which contained over 200 pieces of chocolate’s averaging 1000 us dollars. Jason took the glass of champaign as well as the box of chocolates making the manager extremely happy, however Jason still asked for the key to room six six six. The manager took him up the elevator to the six floor but would not even look at anything. He said (this is as far as i can go) jason was slightly scared but knew this was al just a joke.
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You've got the right idea here, Liam, in that there are clear Gothic elements but you don't focus on setting, describing detail, establishing atmosphere etc. Instead, you jump straight to character and action.
ReplyDeleteThere are some mistakes in punctuation and spelling also eg
there had been 666 death’s in room six six six.
200 pieces of chocolate’s